So, I decided to take a little break from social media to step back and see where I stand, where I am, and what’s really going on around me. About a week ago, I felt a bit stuck, dealing with a sense of “meh” or stagnation in my life. It’s not that I don’t have things to do work-wise; it was more about the feeling itself. It felt like I was in the backseat, just waiting—and I hate that feeling. Waiting drives me crazy, and that feeling can push me into a panic state, making me wonder if there’s anything I can do. But, as my years of experience have taught me, the answer is often still a NO. The best approach is to pause and relax.

Instead, I pushed myself to keep writing my book further, even just a little. I felt a block, like I wanted to write but couldn’t bring myself to do it. Then I reminded myself: one step at a time. Just start again. So I did, and yes, I can structure it later, but having something out of myself is incredibly liberating.

The reason I write or blog isn’t really for others; it’s more for myself. It gives me the freedom to express who I am. In a way, I do this through my design work too, but writing is also important—it helps align me, open me. I believe everyone should be free to express themselves however they want, as long as it doesn’t hurt others or lead to self-destruction.

I’ve also been trying to better understand my energy and the connections I have with others, especially how they influence me. It’s been a struggle since my sensitivity has grown. While it can feel wonderful to connect with someone, letting their energies or vibes affect me too much isn’t good for me. So, I’m testing out ways to block out negativity, aiming to establish a better barrier. This will help me grow my own stability, confidence, and resolution.

I have this goal I want to reach, but I feel like something’s missing. A strong message that keeps coming through is that it’s all about ourselves. A few years back, a manifestation coach put it simply: as we wait for things in our lives, it’s not that we’re waiting for them; they’re waiting for us to be ready. I’m sure everyone has heard phrases like, “You’re not ready,” “They’re not ready,” or “It’s not the right time.” When I hear those, I want to scream or call it bullshit. I feel ready; it’s the right time! But I also know that everything is a reflection of me.

So is it possible to be 24/7 jolly and bubbly? That’s the aim, isn’t it? But that doesn’t mean life doesn’t happen or that I won’t feel negative emotions that aren’t mine. Those can drag my vibe down. The question is, how long or how much do I allow myself to be affected by them? That’s what I’m working on now—standing firm in my own vibe, not letting anything stop me from feeling good, happy, and excited about where I am and where I’m going.

I also had a dream today that I take as a warning to not fall back and to strengthen my mind. Dreams carry a lot of messages for me. Some are messy and hard to decipher, while others reflect where I currently stand. It’s surprising to realize I still carry things I thought I’d moved on from, but it’s good to know. Some dreams have strong messages, sometimes feeling like omens, and others can even shock me awake with intense energy.

So yes, I pay attention to this realm, and I really love to sleep. I need my sleep! Usually, after an event, I take 2-3 days just to recover—just sleeping, eating, and resting. Rest is necessary, especially since I have the next four weeks packed. So overall I’m thankful for this pause right now, to get clear and prepare.